I knew a woman at my church who was emotionally abused by her husband and ended up slowly dying from a brain tumor at age 49. Then he remarried and his new wife began getting sick within a year. Now he has cancer. He was sexually abused by his dad as a child which allowed demons to torment him even though he became a Christian.
Following are attitudes and behaviors that signal someone is emotionally abusing you.
Shaming
Shaming is any action or word intended to make you feel ashamed of being you.
Shaming can make you feel in the wrong for your thoughts or actions.
It can include expressions like, “Why would you do that?” It may also take the form of comments that target insecurities, such as your body image.
Blaming
Emotionally abusive blaming can take the form of “flipping the switch,” or suddenly blaming you for someone else’s behaviors or reactions.
Controlling
Making you do only what your spouse wants is controlling because you lose freedom to choose to be you and make your own decisions. God gives us all a freewill to choose.
Criticizing
Criticism that’s cruel or isn’t constructive may be emotionally abusive. Interrupting you mid-conversation to say you don’t know when to shut up, for example, can be a form of emotional abuse.
Guilting
Guilt can be a powerful manipulation tactic. When you feel as though you’ve let someone down, you’re not good enough, or you’re a disappointment, you may change your behavior to avoid that feeling in the future.
Humiliating
One of the more obvious forms of emotional abuse is humiliating. This may come as public embarrassment, or private behaviors that degrade you and make you feel less than human.
Ridiculing
Name-calling, mean “jokes,” and sarcasm are all forms of abusive ridicule.
Dismissing
When your thoughts, values, or opinions are dismissed, it can make you feel unimportant. Over time, you may question if your input has any value.
Accusing
Unfair accusations can manipulate you into people-pleasing behaviors. If someone is constantly accusing you of infidelity, for example, you may go to extra lengths to be attentive toward them.
Neglecting
When your physical or emotional needs aren’t met, this can be a form of neglect. Emotional neglect might mean deliberately withholding affection, or punishing you with the silent treatment.
Monitoring
Monitoring can destroy your sense of privacy. Reading your messages, scanning your social media, and showing up at events you’re attending are all forms of monitoring.
Verbally berating
Emotional abuse doesn’t have to be subtle. Sometimes it comes as verbal attacks, mood swings, or fits of yelling.
Women who emotionally abuse and control their husbands are operating in a Jezebel spirit. Jezebel can also affect men who become narcissistic. They got that way because of hurts and wounds in childhood. To change they need to admit they need to change and want to change, then forgive all who hurt them, repent from pride and sin and command demons to be gone.
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