NOT EVERY MARRIAGE WAS ORDAINED BY GOD Think about it. Most marriages happen when a young man and woman are first physically attracted to one another. Then they date for a period of time to see if they are compatible with one another. If one person is very controlling, lies, cheats on them, emotionally abuses or worse, or has no godly fruit while the other person wants to live for God then often times they don’t follow through with the wedding. Often times one of the parties says they are a Christian, acts nice to them as much as they are able to muster during the dating process but ultimately has no intention in their heart of living a godly lifestyle and simply wants their future spouse to provide for their financial or physical needs, give them sex when they want it, yet will treat them like a slave with consistent emotional abuse, putting them down with a cutting tongue and possibly worse during the marriage. Does that sound like a potential marriage ordained by God? Of course not. Yet millions of marriages are consummated under false pretense. So what happens if you had every intention of serving God in…

HOW SHOULD YOU HANDLE EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS? Emotional abuse in marriage & relationships is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom. Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them. They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment. Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer) one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart. Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved. The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate. Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the…

GOD HATES EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS Many people want to only think of God as an all loving, look the other way on people’s sins with no negative consequences for people’s actions, who tolerates those who abuse others emotionally while giving us hyper grace to get into heaven after we have died never holding us accountable for our bad behavior and thinking nothing of our fruits of the flesh and never looking at the intentions of our hearts and minds. But God is a God of justice and He knows the truth about all of us. He knows how we treat our spouse and children and other people and it all matters. He knows if we are emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually abusive or perverse. And the Bible says he hates abuse, perversity, lying, and doing evil. There are many people who abuse their spouse their entire marriage and unfortunately use the religious people in the church to protect them by shouting the “God hates divorce” scripture in order to keep them chained to their abuser in marriage while ignoring the scriptures about their own abuse of their spouse which causes many to reluctantly desire to leave them so they…

NARCISSISTS (JEZEBEL SPIRIT) CAUSE SICKNESS & A SLOW DEATH TO THEIR SPOUSE I personally knew a woman who was married to a man who was emotionally abusive to her and their children due to him being sexually abused by his father. They went to my church and attended my adult Sunday school class. She developed a brain tumor due to the daily verbal abuse from him at age 40. She ended up dying from it. Her children moved out from his abuse as soon as they graduated. After his wife died he got remarried to a woman who was healthy. Within a year she began to get sick due to his emotional abuse to her. He now has cancer. I know of others who were married to people with the Jezebel spirit who lost their hair, felt sick to their stomachs which developed into ulcers, anxiety, fear, gained or lost weight, headaches, strokes or heart attacks. It’s very real when a person with demonic spirits constantly tears you down, controls you and makes you submit to their demonic manipulation through ridicule, derision, raising their voices, silent treatment and passive / aggressive behavior. You are literally sleeping with the enemy as…

DID YOU KNOW THE BIBLE SAYS NOT TO ASSOCIATE WITH FAKE BELIEVERS? Did you know that Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 not to associate with “Christian” believers who indulge in sexual sin (porn, lust, masturbation, fornication), are greedy (selfish), worship idols (putting anything before the Lord like money, power, sex, alcohol, drugs, smoking, gambling, sports, food, etc), are abusive (emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually), drink alcohol to excess, or cheats people and are sinning regularly. Sadly that describes a whole lot of people who attend church today. There are many believers who are living ungodly lives full of sin with fruit of the flesh and have no desires to change and get right with the Lord and obey the Bible. Paul actually says we are to have nothing to do with them. To not even eat with them and that we are to judge those inside the church who are living sinful lives and that we should remove the evil person from among us. “When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat…

There are millions of people around the world who are married to people who emotionally abuse them (and worse) every day.  Some much worse than others but abuse is abuse, even if it is subtle.  The more subtle forms of abuse involve not allowing your spouse to make any decisions throughout the marriage, raising one’s voice or having tones, talking down and belittling – especially in front of other people, making fun of your spouse at their expense, making your spouse’s life miserable through not agreeing to many if any of their desires, not allowing your spouse to pursue their own interests in life, lying, not allowing your spouse to have intimacy with you as punishment for them not doing exactly what you demand, etc.  The more egregious forms of abuse would include yelling, screaming, demanding, acting physically aggressive or being sexually selfish and mocking your spouse, throwing things, breaking things, exploding in rage, etc. About half of the world struggles with a more controlling, selfish, prideful and sexually selfish and impure,  ungodly behavior while the other half of the world get hurt by them.  Sadly, they find each other in the majority of all marriages.  Jezebel married Ahab and…

Many people want to only think of God as an all loving, look the other way on people’s sins and consequences for people’s actions, who tolerates those who abuse others emotionally while giving us hyper grace to get into heaven after we have died instead of holding us accountable for our behavior and lack of fruits of the spirit, and looking at the intentions of our hearts and minds.  But God is a God of justice and He knows the truth about all of us.  He knows how we treat our spouse and children and other people and it all matters.  He knows if we are emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually abusive or perverse.  And the Bible says he hates abuse, perversity, lying, and doing evil.  There are many people who abuse their spouse their entire marriage and unfortunately use the religious people in the church to protect them by shouting the “God hates divorce” scripture in order to keep them in their abusive marriage while ignoring the scriptures about their own abuse of their spouse which causes many to reluctantly desire to leave them so they can actually live and not die a slow pre-mature death.   Proverbs 6:12-19…

Emotional abuse in marriage & relationships is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom.  Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them.  They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment.  Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer)  one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart.  Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved.  The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate.  Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the consistent arguments (usually because after hundreds of arguments over the…

I hear from thousands of people each year who have struggled through being emotionally, physically or sexually abused in their relationships, often times for much of their lives (marriages, fathers and mothers, step fathers, church leadership and those who attend, friends, etc.).  Most people who attend church who have been married have been preached to that God hates divorce and so feel like they must stay in a toxic, abusive relationships until death do they part.  Of course God hates divorce – but He also hates abuse which causes the victims to feel sick to their stomachs and often receive diseases and a slow death due to the unhealthy control, feel scared of their spouse and have to walk on egg shells every day while submitting to the demons in their spouse, parents or others.  Does God actually want you to stay submitted to a person whose demons are manifesting on you every day, verbally and emotionally abusing you for hours every day, causing you to feel worthless at best and suicidal at worst, dying slowly inside your body, soul and spirit every day and unable to do anything for the Lord?  Absolutely not.  And abuse does not have to…

So many people do not comprehend just how critical it is to love their children unconditionally and speak encouraging words over them.  I was fortunate and grew up with a father that loved me and valued me.  He encouraged me to do my best in every thing that I tried.  He came to my games in school and cheered me on.  He helped me when I had questions about various projects in my life. So I developed into a man who knew how to love others unconditionally and to encourage them to do their best.  I love people the way Christ intended, putting them ahead of my own selfish desires.  It is second nature to me to want to love on every one and to speak a positive word over them. Unfortunately that is not the norm in society.  Most children grew up with fathers that were distant and removed or felt tremendous rejection from them.  In many cases, they were hurt deeply with words that were critical and actions that were worse.  Some endured tremendous emotional, physical and even sexual abuse.  What happens inside of a child that must endure this type of father? The enemy begins to whisper…