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THE PROPER WAY TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS

Emotional abuse in marriage & relationships is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom.  Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them.  They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment.  Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer)  one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart.  Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved.  The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate.  Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the consistent arguments (usually because after hundreds of arguments over the…

GOD NEVER CONDONES ANY ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

I hear from thousands of people each year who have struggled through being emotionally, physically or sexually abused in their relationships, often times for much of their lives (marriages, fathers and mothers, step fathers, church leadership and those who attend, friends, etc.).  Most people who attend church who have been married have been preached to that God hates divorce and so feel like they must stay in a toxic, abusive relationships until death do they part.  Of course God hates divorce – but He also hates abuse which causes the victims to feel sick to their stomachs and often receive diseases and a slow death due to the unhealthy control, feel scared of their spouse and have to walk on egg shells every day while submitting to the demons in their spouse, parents or others.  Does God actually want you to stay submitted to a person whose demons are manifesting on you every day, verbally and emotionally abusing you for hours every day, causing you to feel worthless at best and suicidal at worst, dying slowly inside your body, soul and spirit every day and unable to do anything for the Lord?  Absolutely not.  And abuse does not have to…

A father’s relationship with their children is profoundly impactful for a lifetime

So many people do not comprehend just how critical it is to love their children unconditionally and speak encouraging words over them.  I was fortunate and grew up with a father that loved me and valued me.  He encouraged me to do my best in every thing that I tried.  He came to my games in school and cheered me on.  He helped me when I had questions about various projects in my life. So I developed into a man who knew how to love others unconditionally and to encourage them to do their best.  I love people the way Christ intended, putting them ahead of my own selfish desires.  It is second nature to me to want to love on every one and to speak a positive word over them. Unfortunately that is not the norm in society.  Most children grew up with fathers that were distant and removed or felt tremendous rejection from them.  In many cases, they were hurt deeply with words that were critical and actions that were worse.  Some endured tremendous emotional, physical and even sexual abuse.  What happens inside of a child that must endure this type of father? The enemy begins to whisper…

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