Throughout life we have many choices that we make every day but one choice we do not have a say in is who our parents are. Sometimes we are fortunate and have good, emotionally healthy, stable and unconditionally loving parents. We grow up feeling secure, wanted, comforted and protected. But for many people they grow up with one or sometimes both parents who treated them with love only if they performed exactly as they were told (conditional love). Otherwise their parents might have manipulated them through fear and rejection. They also may have leveraged an unhealthy control over their children through subtle statements and verbal anger outbursts which caused fear to force submission. In the worst cases, some children were actually abused physically and/or sexually. There are a lot of hurting children in homes throughout this fallen world whose hearts have been hurt, scarred and broken.
The damage becomes a vicious cycle that if never dealt with causes hurting children to develop into adults who are hopeless, with feelings of confusion, rejection, depression, despair, anger and a desire to take out their pain on their loved ones through control, manipulation and abuse. Some even get to the point of having no desire to live. When these people get married they bring their hurts and pains into the marriage and unfortunately one or both spew their pain onto each other. Strife becomes the norm and sometimes the innocent spouse feels as if they must leave and possibly divorce just to survive – but is that what God wants for the couple? God wants them to be made whole with every past scar healed. Healing brings love and peace with no fear. What if a person is behaving in ways that hurt their spouse and they cannot seem to find that any of their relationships are at peace, due to all the pain of their childhood?
I was amazed when the Lord started to give me revelation and understanding of these sad situations and then revealed to me how to bring about healing and restoration. Many people that He started to bring into my life had either suffered themselves or were married to someone who was wounded by a parent or both. I have spoken to many pastors who have counseled hundreds of married couples where a spouse had been hurt by a father who did not love them unconditionally (or had a mother that did not love them the way they should have). I concluded that this was a generational issue because many of their parents did not have mothers or fathers that loved them the way they should. It broke my heart to see just how many did not have an unconditional loving father and/or mother and are suffering a lifetime filled with strife in their relationships because of it.
I was so encouraged when the Lord showed me what needed to occur to get these hurting people completely set free as it was a spiritual issue that was at the root of all their pain and dysfunction. The Holy Spirit began using me to help open the eyes of hurting people to how the pain of their past affected their relationships today. Their lives changed dramatically by reading a few powerful and effective prayers from their heart with many literally saving their marriages. I want to let you know there is hope for your life and marriage to change dramatically. You can be healed and see some very impactful and almost immediate changes in yourself or your loved ones simply by taking authority over the real enemy of this world. Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy you.
John 10:10 NKJV states “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” Ephesians 6:12 NKJV also points out “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
I have seen people go from a life of fear, anger, control, pride, hopelessness, depression and on the verge of divorce to a life of love, joy and peace immediately or soon after praying the prayers that are in my book, Restored To Freedom. This will only work if you truly mean it with a sincere, repentant, humble and contrite heart. So it is up to each one that reads this book. If you or your spouse are truly tired of living a life of misery, blaming everyone else in the world for your pain – and ready for a life full of joy and peace. Read on and let the Holy Spirit open your eyes and shine the light of truth to set all captives free from the past!