IT’S BETTER TO BE ALONE WITH JESUS THAN TO HAVE MANY TOXIC FRIENDS & FAMILY
By Mindy Schuman
There are many times in life when we find ourselves surrounded by friends, family and others who may not necessarily support us or have our best interest at heart. There could be individuals we have allowed to be part of our lives who have not aligned themselves with the kingdom of God and His commandments and have become a negative influence in our thoughts and actions. In some cases we, for whatever reason, have continued to allow these individuals to speak into and be an active part of our lives causing much damage to ourselves and perhaps even our spouse and children! These types of relationships can be harmful and cause us to not be able to walk in the peace that God desires us to have. We have a responsibility to our spouses, if married, and children to guard ourselves from those with evil intentions and who habitually practice sin and walk out their fleshly desires.
In my own life, I struggled with giving the types of people mentioned above access to my life because I feared being alone and feared what others would think if I separated myself. I mistakenly believed that being connected to those that were repeatedly and habitually critical, judgemental and harsh was somehow better even than being alone. However, God has matured and brought clarity to me in this area to know that we are never alone when we have a relationship with Jesus. In many cases it is better to pull away and be separate than be negatively influenced and mistreated by others just for the sake of having someone to talk to or do things with. This is especially important when we desire to go deeper into the things of God and desire to do His will for our lives above all else.
The enemy, Satan, will always try to send those into our lives to speak lies over us, condemn and criticize us with the hope that we never realize who we are in Christ causing us to lack the boldness and confidence to do what God has called us to do.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.
1 Peter 5:8
We must, as men and women of God, be serious about the fact that we have an enemy who wants to devour. We must be vigilant and discerning as to who we allow to have access into our inner circle so that the enemy cannot use another person with evil motives and intentions to have uninhibited access to our hearts and minds to cause havoc and heartache in our life.
The Lord reminded me years ago, “Mindy…not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.” At the time that felt like a hard word, but I allowed the Lord to bring further revelation about this to me. He was warning me and giving me wisdom to understand that the enemy is cunning and will use people who can act “nice” in the beginning of a relationship or friendship of some kind but not have pure intentions in their heart. I was hurt many many times by those who seemed to be Godly and kind, but over time wanted to tear down and discourage me because their hearts were not aligned with the Lord and they were being used by the enemy to bring destruction and pain.
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
“I will dwell in them
And walk among them.
I will be their God,
And they shall be My people.”
“Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you.”
2 Corinthians 6:14-17
The most important part of this post is what I’m going to say next: We never have to fear being alone when we have a relationship with Jesus. It is better to be at peace with Jesus than with any other man or woman who wants to tear us down and cause us to stumble. If you are facing these circumstances today, know that Jesus is a friend that truly sticks closer than a brother and He can comfort and befriend us in ways that no one else can. He is with us and will give us His peace in any circumstance we walk though. The word of the Lord to you today is this: He has assured you that He will be with you and never forsake you. His heart for us today is that we not compromise our walk with Him by letting those who have evil motives and intentions to hurt us and cause pain in our lives just for the sake of not feeling alone.
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
Matthew 10: 35-38