We have all been hurt by people in our lives. We have been controlled, betrayed, lied & gossiped about, and many of us have been emotionally abused and some physically or sexually abused. God requires that everyone forgive those who have sinned against them in order to have their own sins forgiven by Him.
“For if you forgive men their sins, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, neither will your Father forgive your sins.”
So does that mean that every relationship should be restored if the person who hurt you doesn’t own their bad behavior and change and still remains unhealthy or emotionally abusive? Did Jesus want to stay in relationship with everyone? He absolutely did not want to stay in close relationship with the Pharisees and scribes.
Christ Brings Division
34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Did David reconcile with Saul? nope.
Did Elijah reconcile with Jezebel? nada.
Did Jesus reconcile with the Pharisees? never.
If you have been abused emotionally, physically or sexually and your abuser has never taken responsibility for it, apologized, gone through healing and deliverance and has changed their behavior to being loving and kind over a period of time then it is not wise to stay in the unhealthy abusive relationship.
True repentance from an abuser is proved out through consistently changed good behavior over time. If a person who hurts you apologizes but has no changed behavior and good fruit then they are only doing the apology to manipulate you back into the relationship so they can hurt you again.
You will know when a person has truly repented for their abuse when they are humble, remorseful for their prior abusive behavior and have changed by treating their former victim with love and kindness over time.
So for most people forgiveness from your heart towards people who have abused you simply means seeing them through the eyes of Christ. Understanding that those who have hurt you were also hurt when they grew up and thus responded to you out of their pain and demons. Forgiviness frees you from the legal rights that demons would have to torment you through being bitter towards your abuser. Realize that forgiveness does not require reconciliation with anyone who continues to behave abusively, prideful, or piously.
2 Replies to “FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REQUIRE RECONCILIATION”
This is Great Nelson. My name is Mike I’ve been speaking to you threw yourube comments “Disciple Of Christ” is my user name there. I absoutly love what the Holy Spirit is doing in your life & ministery & out of all of thevpastors I have met & all of the churches & revivals I have attended & been to you speak from a genuine heart & I recognize it & see the Good Fruit.
I wanna thank you & your Wife for all the great work you all are doing for the Kingdom of Heaven & I look forward to reading all of your blog posts & I will co ti ue to watch all of your videos with great hope for the Lord Jesus Christ to fix & heal my marriage. I truly hope & pray that my wife wants the same thing as well & doesn’t want the enemy to win. We are both victims of divorced parents and we are now battling Jezebel in our marriage trying to take from us what ha has taken from our parents.
I won’t go in with much here & I will give you the full story some day soon when I can speak to you or I will send an email of something in regards to our testimony & story as it is quite unique & somewhat different in ways.
Any way God bless you & your wife & ministry.
With Love, Peace & Freedom