LOVING YOUR PRODIGAL CHILDREN
I have done thousands of personal healing and deliverance sessions for people around the world since 2015. Most all have been hurt by their parents in some way. Mostly through emotionally being wounded or abused. Some through physical abuse and some by sexual abuse. Many have been hurt through sexual violations, exposure to porn, molested, raped, etc.
Children simply want to be loved by their parents, unconditionally. But the fact is that most all of their parents were hurt by their own parents and in other ways. Thus when a child gets hurt by a parent they often don’t forgive them and harbor unforgiveness or bitterness towards them which allow demonic spirits to torment their mind with lies, sadness, anger and hatred feeling rejected or abandoned and not good enough.
“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;”
Hebrews 12:14-15 NKJV
So it is critical if we as a parent have hurt our children by the words or actions we have said or done to them to take ownership for it and apologize and ask them for forgiveness, which takes humility and honesty.
Often times a spouse operating in the Jezebel spirit causes the damage to their children and tries to turn them against their loving parent by speaking lies to them. This can be especially hard to deal with because the parent gets hurt by their spouse (or ex spouse) within their marriage over many years and then by their own child who turns against them based upon manipulation by the abusive parent. In those cases the loving parent must pray that the scales are removed from their child’s eyes to see the truth. Sometimes you may have to wait for many months or years as the child eventually learns the truth about the Jezebel parent trying to manipulate them. You need to simply love your child where they are at and be careful to be slow to speak negatively about their Jezebel parent (Narcissist) as they will usually see the truth over time.
Sometimes children will be hurt by their friends, sexually abused or shown pornography which can then cause them to treat their parents with disrespect even though their parent has loved them correctly. The child needs to be healed and delivered from their wounds and delivered from their demons in order to treat their parents and siblings properly.
So when you have a Prodigal child who wants nothing to do with you be aware that you always need to have a heart posture of love towards them. If you are harsh towards your child, controlling or manipulative then you will end up driving them further away. When a child has been hurt or wounded they will not be in the right space and will not behave as they should so you cannot expect them to treat you with respect or proper love. Look upon them as you would a soldier who was wounded in battle and that they need to be healed first before expecting them to behave in a normal and healthy way.
Prodigals often will have natural consequences in life that will help teach them that negative, selfish or sinful behavior will not lead them to peace and joy but to a life of despair, sadness and suffering. So be ready when the child begins to respond to you as you need to be gentle and loving in return. When a child knows you truly love them they will eventually return back to you as you treat them with the love of Christ.
If a child has an entitled and proud attitude due to overindulgences and being catered to in an environment of being pampered then you will need to stop contributing to their selfishness and allow them to learn the value of independence, responsibility and hard work. Appreciating and respecting their parent can take time if they have a selfish attitude which is similar to the Parable of the lost son. Allowing a child to learn from natural consequences can be hard to do as we want to help our children but is necessary for them to properly appreciate and respect.
Luke 15:11-32 NKJV
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
25 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’
28 “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. 30 But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ”