IS THE COUNSEL YOU RECEIVED OF THE LORD OR THE ENEMY? There are about 30,000 pastors and over 120,000 licensed professional counselors, over 80,000 psychologists and over 30,000 psychiatrists in America who have people come to them for advice with which to handle issues in their own personal lives and relationships. Over the past 8 years at Restored to Freedom, we have seen more and more people coming to us who have shared that they were given counsel from their pastors, counselors as well as other professionals that was not good, unwise and actually hurt them worse. Sadly much of the counsel came from the person, pastor or counselor and not from the Lord or Holy Spirit. Many times the counsel given to them were from well-meaning pastors or counselors but they had no understanding how demonic spirits cause people to behave which cause emotionally harmed people more harm by their support of aggressive / abusive spouses or controlling / abusive parents who act like they are godly. Many times the advice was coming from a place of inexperience on the part of the pastor / counselor or sadly through similar demonic tainted like-minded spirits that were similar to the…

GOD WANTS MARRIAGES THAT ARE HOLY NOT COMPROMISED God wants both husband and wife to be aligned with living a godly life according to the Bible. They need to both have fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). They need to both walk in humility and sexual purity. If your spouse is not living a godly life and is living a sinful life of the flesh then they will try to get you to compromise and tolerate sin in your life. They will come against you fulfilling your calling in the Lord. They will try to pull you away from living a life full of integrity and sexual purity and follow them instead of God which can ultimately affect your salvation if you give yourself over to them in order to “keep the peace.” There was a woman in the Bible named Sapphire who agreed to sin with her husband and it unfortunately cost her life. “But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession. And he kept back part of the proceeds, his wife also being aware of it, and brought a certain part and laid it at…

NOT EVERY MARRIAGE WAS ORDAINED BY GOD Think about it. Most marriages happen when a young man and woman are first physically attracted to one another. Then they date for a period of time to see if they are compatible with one another. If one person is very controlling, lies, cheats on them, emotionally abuses or worse, or has no godly fruit while the other person wants to live for God then often times they don’t follow through with the wedding. Often times one of the parties says they are a Christian, acts nice to them as much as they are able to muster during the dating process but ultimately has no intention in their heart of living a godly lifestyle and simply wants their future spouse to provide for their financial or physical needs, give them sex when they want it, yet will treat them like a slave with consistent emotional abuse, putting them down with a cutting tongue and possibly worse during the marriage. Does that sound like a potential marriage ordained by God? Of course not. Yet millions of marriages are consummated under false pretense. So what happens if you had every intention of serving God in…

HOW SHOULD YOU HANDLE EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS? Emotional abuse in marriage & relationships is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom. Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them. They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment. Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer) one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart. Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved. The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate. Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the…

GOD IS CHANGING MARRIAGES THAT HE DID NOT ARRANGE INTO KINGDOM COUPLES THAT HE ORDAINED The typical marriage was brought together when boy meets girl and they were physically attracted to each other. Then typically one of them was more serious about God and obeying the Bible so they asked their prospective spouse if they were a Christian and that person says “Yes, I am a Christian and love God too.” But then after marriage happens the other person doesn’t display any fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self control). They rarely if ever read their Bible. They are actually controlling, talk down to their spouse, comes against them, makes fun of them, blames them, walks in pride, lusting after others. They often will attend church but they put on a fake mask acting like they are godly to their audience but then once they leave the church returning to their selfish and ungodly self in the drive back home. Some of them try to get involved in church but it’s only with the intention of bringing attention to themselves and making them look good to the pastor. Then they go back home…

There are billions of people who are in unhealthy relationships with people who are saying they are a believer in God yet are lacking any fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self-control).  They are filled with overbearing pride.  Behaving in sexual impurity, looking at porn, ogling others bodies (lust), masturbating in private or having other improper relationships. They lie, gossip, get angry, jealous, act godly while living an ungodly and unrighteous life.  In God’s eyes they are really an unbeliever with much fruit of the flesh, evil hearts and corrupt minds. So the people who are in relationship with them are tormented by derogatory and negative comments, have no support, treated with disdain, mocked, and ultimately receive emotional abuse or worse.  Those who are married to them are in tremendous stress because they don’t want to divorce them because they hear the “God hates divorce” Bible verse over and over so feel like they must stay and be abused until death do they part.  And in a very real way they are slowly dying on the inside as their spouse’s demons continue to manifest on them every day through heartless words and treatment…

There is more of a struggle today than ever before within the church between couples who are in relationship where there is strife to the point of emotional abuse between husband and wife (both men against women and women against men). Most in the church know of the Bible scripture below concerning that wives should submit to their husbands and that husbands should love their wives: Ephesians 5:22-27 NKJV Marriage—Christ and the Church "22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish." When a godly husband chooses to submit himself…

There are millions of people around the world who are married to people who emotionally abuse them (and worse) every day.  Some much worse than others but abuse is abuse, even if it is subtle.  The more subtle forms of abuse involve not allowing your spouse to make any decisions throughout the marriage, raising one’s voice or having tones, talking down and belittling – especially in front of other people, making fun of your spouse at their expense, making your spouse’s life miserable through not agreeing to many if any of their desires, not allowing your spouse to pursue their own interests in life, lying, not allowing your spouse to have intimacy with you as punishment for them not doing exactly what you demand, etc.  The more egregious forms of abuse would include yelling, screaming, demanding, acting physically aggressive or being sexually selfish and mocking your spouse, throwing things, breaking things, exploding in rage, etc. About half of the world struggles with a more controlling, selfish, prideful and sexually selfish and impure,  ungodly behavior while the other half of the world get hurt by them.  Sadly, they find each other in the majority of all marriages.  Jezebel married Ahab and…

Emotional abuse in marriage & relationships is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom.  Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them.  They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment.  Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer)  one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart.  Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved.  The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate.  Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the consistent arguments (usually because after hundreds of arguments over the…

How should you handle emotional abuse in marriage & relationships? Emotional abuse in marriage is unfortunately more common than people would want to think and is also equally as challenging to decide just how to address it and with whom.  Most times when two people get married for the first time they expect their partners to love on them and to allow them to make decisions that bring the greatest level of satisfaction to them.  They both expect to be able to do whatever they want to do that will bring them the greatest level of enjoyment.  Often times shortly after the wedding (and some times longer)  one of the spouses will usually place demands to make most of the decisions in the marriage and begin to control and manipulate the other spouse who usually has more of a giving heart.  Over time it begins to cause the spouse who is being controlled to feel less valued, dominated and no longer feel loved.  The more demanding spouse wants even more control, will behave very proudly and talk more condescending with disrespect to their mate.  Eventually the controlled spouse will feel sick to their stomachs frequently because of the consistent arguments…