DATING AFTER A NARCISSISTIC / JEZEBEL RELATIONSHIP
So many people have been hurt and wounded in their lives and have not been able to forgive those who hurt them. This allows the spirit of Jezebel to affect their souls (mind, will and emotions) causing them to trigger and become very controlling in their relationships. Their behavior self sabotages their own relationships yet their demons will tell them that they are a victim instead of the cause of the broken relationships. They will target people who are more empathic (Ahab spirit) that are more easy to control.
So what if you have been hurt in a relationship with a person who has operated in the Jezebel spirit (narcissist) and are looking for a healthy relationship?
1) Make sure that you are healed from the Jezebellic wounds. Ask Jesus to speak to you and show you what happened to the person who hurt you deeply. You will learn that they were hurt deeply by a father, mother or someone else. They also were most likely sexually violated through the viewing of porn or molested. They had demons that had rights over their souls due to unforgiveness. Tell the Lord “I choose to forgive “Joe” for hurting me and causing me to feel….rejected, abused, betrayed, manipulated, violated, confused, hurt, etc and I give you all my wounds and ask you to heal me now in Jesus name.” Then you should notice you feel lighter and less hurt. It often takes a year or longer to heal from a narcissistic relationship as you recover from all the various attacks and you feel clear in your mind again. Also make sure you are delivered from the Ahab spirit (which drew you towards Jezebel). Men can have Ahab or Jezebel. Women can have Jezebel or Ahab.
2) After some time has passed and you feel more joyful and peaceful again and are ready to date – realize that the chances of you finding a healthy, whole, healed and delivered person is small. Most people have been hurt and need healed of their soul wounds and delivered from their demonic strongholds. So you do not want to be deceived again by a new person who is largely demonized. So many people believe that just because a person attends church and calls themselves a Christian that they are healthy and delivered. That is not the litmus test. Also just because a person has the Holy Spirit and prays in tongues does not mean they are healed and delivered from demons in their soul. Many can act like they are good but once you marry them within the first 3-5 weeks they change. They begin to trigger on you (over react, become controlling, extremely jealous, etc). If they have not truly forgiven people who hurt them growing up then demons have legal rights to torment their minds (and souls). They will often be very prideful. I have counseled thousands and some of the worst stories of abuse have come from Holy Spirit filled Christian believers who were never healed or delivered.
3) Ask the Lord to bring you a godly spouse and then listen to the Holy Spirit guide and direct you. Don’t allow your emotions to drive you. Don’t fall in love with their body – but spend time getting to know their heart and soul. Never allow physical or sexual attraction to interfere with uncovering who the person really is in their soul. Ask them deep questions about how their parents treated them, sexual violations, exposure to porn, molested, etc. Then ask them how they got healed and delivered. If they say they just forgave and got over it without any deliverance from their demonic strongholds then they most likely still have the demons and will be on their best behavior with you during the dating stage and you won’t see them come out until after they have married you. It would be wise for your sake that you both go to a healing and deliverance minister before getting married. The goal of a person who still struggles with the Jezebel spirit is to push to marry you fast. Once they marry you then their mask will come off as they believe they own you now and they can trigger to destroy you, your reputation and if you have a ministry they will try to ruin it.
4) Dating over time will show you if they trigger often (over reacting to small things) and need significant soul wound healing and deliverance. The longer the dating process the more time can reveal if the person has significant wounds that need healed because they can act nice for a few months but over a year or longer you will have a better chance to see how they respond to various pressures and situations – if they are calm or get angry and controlling easily. Couples should both go through effective soul wound healing and deliverance sessions before ever considering to marry. My book “Freedom From Soul Wounds and Demons” is a good resource to take people through the inner healing and demonic deliverance process – from Amazon in paperback, Kindle or Audible – https://a.co/d/0Xed2Rn. I also have taken thousands of people through effective soul wound and deliverance sessions and you can schedule a session with me by emailing my assistant Tina and firstname.lastname@example.org or calling 317-459-7091.