IS THE COUNSEL YOU RECEIVED OF THE LORD OR THE ENEMY?
There are about 30,000 pastors and over 120,000 licensed professional counselors, over 80,000 psychologists and over 30,000 psychiatrists in America who have people come to them for advice with which to handle issues in their own personal lives and relationships. Over the past 8 years at Restored to Freedom, we have seen more and more people coming to us who have shared that they were given counsel from their pastors, counselors as well as other professionals that was not good, unwise and actually hurt them worse. Sadly much of the counsel came from the person, pastor or counselor and not from the Lord or Holy Spirit. Many times the counsel given to them were from well-meaning pastors or counselors but they had no understanding how demonic spirits cause people to behave which cause emotionally harmed people more harm by their support of aggressive / abusive spouses or controlling / abusive parents who act like they are godly.
Many times the advice was coming from a place of inexperience on the part of the pastor / counselor or sadly through similar demonic tainted like-minded spirits that were similar to the abusive spouse or parent. If they are Christian they often take scriptures talking about how “God hates divorce” in Malachi 2:16 to force an abused spouse to submit to an abusive (and demonic influenced) spouse instead of reading the entire scripture that talks about men who deal treacherously with the wife of their youth and are violent and abusive which cause the divorce.
“Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.””
Malachi 2:14-16 NKJV
Or that “children must obey and honor your parents” in Ephesians 6:1-3 to be used to force an adult to continue to allow their abusive parent who has hurt them throughout much of their lives to continue to let their parent to speak harsh, wounding words of abuse or take actions to hurt them worse instead of putting up healthy boundaries to stop the abuse.
God never called us to submit to the authority of those influenced by demons. He does not want us to be abused by our spouse or parents or anyone but Satan will cause controlling, toxic, demon-influenced people to twist Bible scriptures to cause their spouse or children to allow them to continue to speak to them in ways that are emotionally damaging to them in order to allow their demons to torment their spouse or children in their minds causing great damage.
One pastor told a woman whose parents were very controlling and harmful that she needed to allow her parents to continue to speak to her and her husband by “honoring” them and keeping the communication lines open after she had put up healthy boundaries to protect herself from their vicious attacks. When she re-opened the lines of communication with her parents she allowed them to manifest more evil in her life and her husband’s life and to drive a wedge between them in their marriage and hurt them more.
One man was married to a woman who operates in the Jezebel spirit. She refused to get delivered and would manifest on him constantly with verbal abuse. He got physically sicker and lost all his finances within less than two years of staying with her in marriage. After he had finally separated he then received counsel from a pastor and was told to try to make the marriage work because “God hates divorce.” So he went back to her and then got even more sick to the point of near death and had to have bypass surgery for his heart and went into more debt as her demons raged against him for daring to separate from her.
Most pastors and counselors have no understanding when it comes to dealing with people who operate in demonic spirits like Jezebel, Ahab or Leviathan. Most don’t even believe in demons nor know how they manifest in people. They have no clue how to attempt to get people delivered. They have no understanding of getting their soul wounds healed through forgiveness and then doing what Jesus did (a third of his ministry) in getting people delivered from their demons. Thus when they give advice they often try to force two people in a marriage to stay together even when one of the spouses operates in the spirit of Jezebel and they have no idea how to get their soul wounds healed and help them get delivered from their demons so they can actually have a chance to change. Thus the Jezebel spouse knows how to play the counselor by acting like they are a victim and then totally lying about their spouse. Then the true victim in the marriage continues to get hurt worse and worse and some get sickness due to the abuse and can die. I know of one woman who stayed with her emotionally abusive spouse who attended my church. She died of a brain tumor in her early 40’s. Then he got remarried to a healthy woman who then started to get sick within a year of being married to him. He was sexually molested by his father when he was a boy and now has demons which control him to hurt his own children and spouse. He now has cancer.
Thus many pastors and counselors are giving out unwise and even harmful advice on how to deal with the behavior of people who are controlled by demonic spirits. You cannot change a person’s behavior until you get to the root of their pain, heal it with Jesus and forgive their abusers, then repent for pride and sin and command the demons to go. Many will counsel spouses to give their demonic spouse more sex or to submit to their every demand which only feeds their pride and demons more. You cannot counsel out the demons from anyone. You must take away their legal rights through forgiveness to those who hurt a person and then repentance from their pride and sin.
The other area we need to be aware of is that the Lord often wants us to come to Him for counsel instead of a pastor or counselor or psychiatrist or psychologist who could give them advice from either a worldly perspective or from a skewed spiritual perspective without allowing Jesus to speak to us and heal and deliver us from our tormenting demons. Also many are getting advice from a man or woman who are not delivered from their own demons. Thus their own personal lives can be a mess. Understand that many who are giving counsel or are pastors have relationships with their own spouse that are toxic or they are living in sin themselves.
There are areas of our lives that we should seek God’s counsel and direction on instead of relying on other men and women to advise us. Otherwise we could be led with man’s wisdom instead of God’s and thus we are allowing man to lead us astray on issues that are reserved for God to direct us in. We may be going to men and women for counsel in situations that they have no experience in, and those who don’t have the courage to confront wrong circumstances in their own lives and may have little experience being led by the Holy Spirit. When we seek man’s counsel over God’s, we are allowing another man or woman to dictate and guide us in ways that only God can direct us in through the leading of the Holy Spirit because He sees the truth of the situation.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
James 1:5 NKJV
Also be aware that some advice from pastors and counselors is to try to keep together a marriage that God never ordained in the first place. If a spouse lied to you about their personal relationship with Christ and their hidden sin that they were in so was never truly a godly Christian or believer with the evidence of the fruit of the spirit then the unbeliever has a freewill to never change and will often just come against the true believer in the marriage to try and stop them from obeying Christ and accomplishing what God wants in their life. We cannot force a person to get their soul wounds healed and delivered from their demons if they don’t want to. There are many who married a person who was never truly a godly believer and then went through a divorce and then God brought them a true believer and they are now enjoying peace and love for the first time. Many are also doing ministry together to help others.
So it is critical that you receive counsel from a godly person who also understands how soul wounds and demons affect people and how to get people healed from their wounds and delivered.
“There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.”
Proverbs 14:12 NKJV
“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper. The ungodly are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the ungodly shall perish.”
Psalms 1:1-6 NKJV