SHOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE SPOUSE?
Many are in various levels of emotionally abusive marriages with a spouse who treats them with contempt, belittling, shaming, blaming, threatening and even hating, controlling and manipulating them which obviously is never the way the Lord would want them to treat their mate. Some have endured this abuse for many years and their spouse never changes and will usually gets worse over time. In many of those cases the abusive spouse is also either looking at porn and masturbating which Jesus said was the same as adultery (Matthew 5:28) or has been actually been unfaithful with others.
So what is a godly spouse to do? Many are told about the Bible scripture of not depriving your spouse of sex except with agreement.
I Corinthians 7:5 NKJV
“Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This verse is referring to a spiritually healthy couple who are both treating each other with love and mutual respect and have a healthy intimacy in their lives. In the case of an emotionally abusive spouse who is treating their spouse in an evil manner the spouse who is abused should never tolerate the abuse forever and in no way should open themselves up sexually as they would essentially be having sex with their spouse’s demonic spirits in their abuser. It would be degrading and in many cases dangerous if they submit to the abused spouse as it empowers the demons in the abuser to become even more aggressive, controlling and abusive over time and strengthens the lust, anger, and rage and even can crossover into rape. They are experiencing a slow death over time.
The abusive spouse ultimately needs to repent for the damage that they are causing to their spouse, and needs to pursue soul wound healing, forgiveness for those who hurt them when they were a child, repentance for their pride and sinful ways, and deliverance from their demons to change with the evidence of walking in the fruit of the spirit and treating their mate with love, kindness, gentleness and respect. Spouses who emotionally abuse have a freewill to change or to keep their demons but they have essentially left their marriage and their vows to love and protect as there is no peace in their marriage because of their abuse.
I Corinthians 7:15 NKJV
“But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”
Both men and women can be abusive and need to be delivered from demonic spirits. The majority of marriages have one person who is much more controlling, mean, prideful and selfish who has the spirit of Jezebel and that is the abusive spouse who needs to humble themselves before the Lord and repent.
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