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The main reasons why Christians struggle to have Christlike behavior and healthy marriages

Why are so many people in the church struggling to have peace and see the fruit of the spirit evident in their day to day lives?  Why are so many people living in either miserable marriages or experiencing painful divorces?  Why do so many people have sickness and disease in their bodies? Why are so many children angry at their church-going parents?  Why do so few people in church truly love each other like Christ?

Romans 7: 4-25 New Living Translation

So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. When we were controlled by our old nature,  sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death. But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.

God’s Law Reveals Our Sin

Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.”  But sin used this command to arouse all kinds of covetous desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power. At one time I lived without understanding the law. But when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life, 10 and I died. So I discovered that the law’s commands, which were supposed to bring life, brought spiritual death instead. 11 Sin took advantage of those commands and deceived me; it used the commands to kill me. 12 But still, the law itself is holy, and its commands are holy and right and good.

13 But how can that be? Did the law, which is good, cause my death? Of course not! Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation to death. So we can see how terrible sin really is. It uses God’s good commands for its own evil purposes.

Struggling with Sin

14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.


So many people struggle to live a godly life because of the pains from their pasts.  Our soul (mind, will and emotions) has been wounded, often many times over during our lifetimes.  Every time we get hurt and wounded by someone and then do not forgive them in our hearts and ask Jesus to heal the wound then demons have legal rights to come to us and speak to our mind.  Their words come into our thoughts and sound like our own thoughts but there will always be a negative outcome if we do what they tell us.  They will remind us of the injustices and offenses that came against us so that a root of bitterness can spring up and cause us to be defiled and want to take vengeance upon those who have hurt us.  We will behave in ways that align with Satan instead of Jesus such as:


  • Take an offense easily and offend people often
  • Lie / steal
  • Behave sexually impure
  • Control and manipulate other people
  • Get angry easily and get really mad at people who don’t do what we want
  • Not allow the Holy Spirit to flow
  • Cause a lot of strife and arguments and never have peace
  • Be puffed up in pride
  • Have a lot of sickness and disease
  • Feel depressed
  • Feel anxiety / fear
  • Slander and gossip
  • Be jealous of others
  • Choose to divorce instead of humbling oneself and get delivered
  • Blame others for our own issues
  • Attend ungodly parties
  • Watch movies / TV shows with bad language / nudity / violence



Galatians 5:16-26 New Living Translation (NLT)


Living by the Spirit’s Power


16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.



So how do we transition from a broken Christian into a truly victorious one who actually resembles Christ?  We must come out of agreement with the demons that are speaking to us in our minds.  We must be honest.  Ask Jesus to heal our soul wounds. Forgive everyone who hurt us. Exchange our pride for humility in Christ.  Repent for our sins and what we have done to hurt others.  Then cast out all demons who have had legal rights to torment us.


What do we do if someone tries to harass us on social media and they won’t stop?  We block them.  We need to do the same thing to the demons that torment us. How do we block demons?  We must take away every legal right that they have to torment us through having Jesus heal our soul wounds, forgiving everyone completely, humbling ourselves and repenting.  We must stay clean every week and not let anyone affect us.  We must take every thought captive:


2 Corinthians 10:3-6 New King James Version (NKJV)


For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.



So how do we get Jesus to heal our past soul wounds?  We think back to the point of the wound and remember what emotions we felt and then ask Jesus to come to give us words to heal it.  Then after we hear what Jesus says…we command the demons that attached to the wounds to go to the pit in Jesus name.  As we get all of our past soul wounds healed then we simply need to maintain to stay clean as new wounds arise from people or situations each week.  Never take an offense when people say or do things to hurt you and always forgive everyone. Never strive or argue with anyone who tries to engage with you. When you consistently do this…you will have fruit of the spirit and enjoy your life and be blessed by the Lord.

One Reply to “The main reasons why Christians struggle to have Christlike behavior and healthy marriages”

  • I like the teachings are helping me healing of the past childhood wounds to better relationships in knowing the spirits!

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