Below is an excerpt from Chapter 4 What to Do When You Are Waiting – from my newest book Choosing A Godly Mate:
So once you have been delivered from all generational curses and spirits of Jezebel, Leviathan and Ahab and healed from any entrenched mindsets from your past wounds, what should you do when waiting to find your husband or wife? There are many who choose to get on dating sites and pursue people from the opposite sex and have conversations frequently with people who are not healthy. The challenge is that you will soon wear yourself out after talking to each person and trying to juggle multiple conversations via Facebook Messenger / Instagram / Texts / FaceTime.
I know of some women who have thousands of wolves that are trying to pursue them. The men act all ‘godly’ if they know that they profess to be a Christian, but in reality they are nothing more than wolves in sheep’s clothing. They try to tell them what they want to hear so they will fall in love with them. So what most do is pick a few men who look attractive to them and then begin conversations with them. The challenge is with some who live farther away such as several states away or in another country. Without spending regular physical time with them you will not know who they really are. Even then it could take months of going down the road with a man or woman who later finally proves to have worn a mask the entire time as they are not who they represented themselves to be at the start of the relationship, thus wasting your time, money and breaking your heart.
Therefore I recommend doing the following while waiting to find Mr. or Mrs. Right:
- Spending time in prayer / praying in tongues of around an hour throughout the day. Your spirit will become stronger against your flesh and you will draw closer to the Lord. When you spend more time with the Lord you will feel the peace that passes all understanding and not be driven out of fear and your flesh to compromise your values or operate out of your fleshly desires. You also will increase your level of discernment spiritually when you meet a potential future spouse candidate and have a higher level of discernment if they are a godly mate or a fake.
- Read your Bible which will allow you to learn more how to live and become more like Christ. When you fill your mind with scripture you will become godly and become stronger in the spirit.
- Go on an extended fast from food and any other things that the Lord leads – this causes your spirit man (or woman) to get stronger against your flesh and draws you into more peace with the Lord so you can hear even more clearly. You do not want to have any fleshly desires that could cause the enemy in a fake mate to pull you in to them.
- Remain sexually pure at all times. This includes not looking at women or men lustfully nor masturbating. When you act out sexually you stop the ability of the Lord to bless you. You also open up the door to the enemy to have a legal right to hurt you. When you sin sexually you walk farther away from the Lord and not closer.
- Play praise / worship / soaking music when you drive. When your mind is staid on things of the Lord the enemy will not be able to speak to you as easily. Instead of crying out to desire a man or woman to complete you, you will be in a state of more peace.
- Go for walks or do activities in and around nature. Take hikes, kayaks or canoe trips on lakes or rivers, walks on trails, etc. When you are around nature you will feel the peace of the Lord more around you. You will also be able to hear the Lord more clearly for direction and feel His presence.
- Ask the Lord for direction instead of talking to a number of people and getting their human opinions. The Lord knows what you need. Often times your future spouse needs to be healed from their wounds and is not ready yet for you to be introduced to. Therefore work on getting yourself healed and ready for your future husband or wife. Also if you do talk to anyone you need to be honest with them. Some people who have the spirit of Jezebel very strongly will never admit that they did some very evil things and blame their spouse for everything.
- Focus on a hobby that you enjoy as it will allow you to take time for things that are healthy. I always recommend people to exercise because that will keep your temple in good shape, help you look more healthy, give you more energy and you will sleep much better at night.
- Eat healthy. If you eat a lot of sugar, fried or fatty foods, then you will feel sluggish, more depressed and negative. Everything in balance is good but the more fresh foods, fruits and vegetables and water you put in your body, the better you will feel.
- Read godly books that will help you grow spiritually instead of watching secular TV and wasting your time on things that will pull you away from growing in the spirit. So many people waste hours a day watching TV programs that will never improve their lives. Then when they are 50, 60 or 70 years of age, their best years of life are gone. No one ever said on their death bed “I wish I could have watched more Family Feud, Jeopardy or Jerry Springer show episodes.”
- Attend a good spirit-led church or ministry in order to be around healthy, godly people that will encourage you positively. If you have friends around you who are not godly, they will influence you negatively and cause you to get off the right track. So make sure to surround yourself with an inner circle of godly friends who hear from the Lord.
- Do something that you have never been able to do before but have always wanted. Crochet or knit a blanket, paint a beautiful picture, visit a place you have always wanted to, take a ride in a powered parachute, hot air balloon, run a 5k race or marathon, etc.
- Write a book that you have always wanted to but never had the time before. Anyone can write books today using self-publishers like CreateSpace by Amazon and others. The Lord wants you to be creative and share your testimonies and things that you have experienced in life so others can learn from you.
- Focus more on helping others and you will ultimately learn to become more like Christ. There are so many people around the world who are hurting due to some strong pains from their fathers or mothers, and when you take the focus off of yourself and instead focus on others you will develop a better picture of how the Lord wants to use you in ministry.
- Explore a place that you never have visited before. There is something about taking a new adventure in life that is exciting to do. God wants us to take adventures in life and to visit places we have never gone before. You will feel alive when you experience something that you have never seen or experienced before.
- Get involved with a small group at your church and do street ministry, prophesy over random people, heal the sick, help people become freed from demonic spirits. There is nothing like doing what Jesus wants us to do.
- Listen to praise and worship music throughout your apartment or home as either background music or turn it up and get your praise and worship on. There is nothing that can change the atmosphere in your home like cranking the music up.
- Spend more time talking to same sex friends than opposite sex friends. If you talk more to the opposite sex then you will be more tempted to draw to them in an unhealthy relationship instead of getting completely healed from your past hurts and broken relationships