How mature are you spiritually? Do you complain, strive, argue, worry, get angry, lust after other people, lie about people, walk in pride or have a negative attitude on most things on a regular basis? If you do then you are still needing some additional spiritual maturity and need to be healed from your past soul wounds so that you can truly forgive those who have hurt you in your past and then command your demons to go. People who are hard to get along with will have all been hurt and wounded when they grew up and will hear thoughts from their demons which cause them to strive with other people. They will take an offense frequently over nothing and offend people badly all day long and expect others to take it. They are impure. They are not loving and kind.
2 Timothy 2:22-26 NKJV
22 Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. 24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, 26 and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
When people are able to truly forgive others who have hurt them during their life and humble themselves from their pride then they will exhibit the fruit of the spirit in their lives and never take an offense and not purposely behave in ways that will offend anyone (although people who are just looking for an offense will manifest around anyone whether they are good or not).
Galatians 5:22-26 NKJV
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
When you are truly healed and delivered you will be able to truly love people like Christ and overlook their bad behavior and see that those who are hard to love are simply not healed from their soul wounds and operate out of their demons that torment through thoughts. You will have joy and be happy and positive instead of speaking out words that are negative and behave in selfish ways. You will be a peaceful person who others will want to be around (although if you operate out of the demons tormenting you then you cannot stand to see others who have peace in their lives and will try to create strife). You will also be able to have much patience and even suffer being around other people who say hurtful words about you because you can see into their broken hearts and have compassion for them. You will be a genuinely kind person who would never do or say anything about another person to hurt them. You will be good and do good things for others. You will be faithful and loyal to people and not lie about them behind their backs. You will be gentle and never harsh to anyone talking softly and slowly instead of demanding your own way and behaving aggressively. And you will be able to control yourself around other people and not try to control them. People who want to be healthy will want to be around you because you are healthy. You will behave Christlike and have other’s best interests at heart and not try to control and dominate them to make them do what you want or stop them from enjoying their lives.
The word “strife” actually can have several interpretations including arguing, worrying, getting angry, fearing and basically anything that causes a person to no longer have peace. You can worry about not having enough money to pay a bill, get angry because someone doesn’t do something you want to make them do, arguing with anyone, fearing what may or may not happen. People who are not healed from their wounds will hear many demonic thoughts every day which cause them to strive all day long. They never have peace and cannot relax. They cannot just ride in a car and have peace as they must turn on the radio or talk to a person constantly. They cannot just be at peace. The reason is because they hear a lot of thoughts from the enemy and they try to stop it by talking a lot or listening to music so that temporarily they have a little peace. They will want to strive over everything.
1 Timothy 6:3-5 NKJV
Error and Greed
3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.
The way to true peace is when they have truly forgiven everyone who has ever hurt them, repented to God for their own pride and sin and commanded their demons to be gone from themselves. Then they will not hear all the negative voices in their mind. They will be able to rest and to have real peace. You cannot fake it when you do not have peace. They will be able to love people like Christ and walk in humility. They will enjoy their lives and have fun, laugh and never take themselves too seriously. They will never take an offense over anything. They will not want to force other people to do what they want controlling their every move like a puppet. They will give people freedom to choose, freedom to love, freedom to worship. They will be patient with other people. They will behave like Christ.