Have you ever thought about why you do what you do? Why do so many people who attend church treat their spouse and children and others who don’t do what they want, badly? Why do people sin sexually? Why do some people drink a lot of alcohol or smoke or overeat? Why do people trigger into angry and violent people? What are some people calm, loving and honest while others rage, hate and lie? Why are some people fearful and anxious while others are always at peace?
We behave the way we do because of what happened to us when we grew up. If we were born prematurely we will usually be afraid to be alone later in life. If our mom had a scary birth process or was yelled at a lot by her husband or the father of the child, then the child will usually have fear and anxiety. If we were shown porn or touched sexually when we were a child we will struggle with sexual purity later in life.
If we felt rejected by a parent when we grew up then we will feel rejected easily by our friends or spouse if they say something or do something that seems similar to when we were rejected by our parent.
If we demand our own way in most things and control and manipulate our spouse or children in a hurtful way then we would have often been hurt growing up and do not trust anyone because we were never protected and hear voices telling us that we cannot trust anyone and we need to make most all of the decisions.
If you dated someone in high school who cheated on you and later got married then you will usually be extremely jealous of anything your spouse does that involves communicating in a normal way to people of the opposite sex. You will trigger and feel that they are cheating on you when they are not.
The truth is that most everyone has been hurt growing up through a parent that talked negatively or harshly (or was emotionally, physically or sexually abusive) or we were hurt by a step-parent or relative or anyone else. When we get hurt or wounded then we will not trust anyone and trigger on people who do things in our current relationships that remind us of our past wounds. Pride will always develop within us telling us that we cannot trust anyone to make any decisions that will be good for us so we better make all the decisions. Job 41 talks about the spirit of Leviathan and in verse 34 it says that Leviathan is king over all the children of pride.
Most people are very prideful today. They offend people all day long but then take an offense over the least little thing. So you have to “walk on eggshells” around them.
Arguing and strife in relationships and marriages is very prevalent and it is because people are not healed from their past soul wounds nor delivered from the demons tormenting their minds causing them to strife, take an offense, be demanding, have no love or kindness. When a husband and wife both pursue healing and deliverance from their past wounds and are able to be honest, choose to forgive those who have hurt them, humbled themselves from their pride, repented for their sins and idols, and commanded the demons to be gone from them – they will change and have more of the fruit of the spirit evident in their lives. They will have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. They will be more like Jesus and walk in humility and love.
So we can choose to avoid being honest, keep our bitterness for those who hurt us in our past, walk in pride and then never experience peace, love or much of any fruit of the spirit and then walk in the fruit of the flesh and blame others but never be able to enjoy our lives, nor walk in the fullness of Christ.
Galatians 5:16-26 NKJV
Walking in the Spirit
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Ask the Lord to show you why all those who hurt you did so. Every one of them were hurt when they grew up and never got their soul wounds healed or their demons delivered. And there are so many of them in the church. Just because you say you are a Christian does not mean that you have any fruit of the spirit to show. Most in America would call themselves a Christian but few have fruit of the spirit. The Lord knows our hearts and minds and it matters if you have any good fruit or not. Grace allows us to stay alive and continue sinning but eventually when our time on earth is done we must have some godly fruit to show for it. There are reasons why we all do what we do. Those who hurt people have all been hurt and not been healed from those wounds or had their demons’ legal rights taken away through forgiving everyone who has hurt them and humbling ourselves before the Lord and repenting for our sins.
Jeremiah 17:10 NKJV
10 I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings.