MANY MINISTER INCORRECTLY FROM THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES & PERSPECTIVE
Often people minister incorrectly from what they have personally experienced in their own lives. They project their own experience on others whose situations could have some similarities or not be anything alike.
For instance, if a pastor has never been emotionally abused by his wife then when he counsels a man who has endured years of abuse from a wife struggling with the Jezebel spirit then the pastor cannot understand what that would be like. So his counsel could be to “Just love her like Christ until she changes” or “Pray in tongues every day for 30 minutes” or “Fast for a week” or “do what she wants you to do” of which nothing works to change the man’s wife to behave in a loving and godly way because Jezebel will not leave the woman by doing those things due to legal rights to stay (unforgiveness, pride, sin) and the woman’s freewill. So the pastor gives counsel that is not wise and it’s due to him not having any experience with dealing with Jezebel in his own wife or with anyone else who operates in that spirit.
Most pastors, counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists can only give wise counsel in those experiences that they have endured personally. Of course if pastors and counselors and the mental health community and others don’t even believe that people (and Christians) can be tormented by demons then most all their advice concerning spiritual issues will be off and could often cause more damage.
When a teen age girl was sexually abused when she was young by an older man she will normally be dealing with demonic spirits causing her to act out sexually with others and experience even more pain by men taking advantage of her. She wants to be loved but only receives lust. Then when she gets married she often will take out her anger and pain on her husband. Only inner healing and deliverance allows her to truly change for the better. Thus counsel from people who don’t understand the spiritual roots of behavioral issues will be largely fruitless.
Then there are many who counsel who have never had their soul wounds healed nor been delivered from demons. Some pastors are misogynistic and will counsel women who are being emotionally abused (or worse) from their husbands to just “love them more”, “submit to them more”, “give them more sex”, etc until they become physically sick or feel like dying from taking so much abuse over years. The pastors will remind them that “God hates divorce” while omitting the verse just prior and completing the verse that they refer to. The truth is that God hates it when men deal treacherously “abusively” with their wives which ultimately causes the divorce and can even result in violence. Especially back when that verse was written when women had limited to no way of financially supporting themselves and only men could divorce the women so if they wanted to abuse them they could and the women were in hopeless situations.
“But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.””
Malachi 2:15-16 NKJV
Most marriages have one person who operates more in the spirit of Jezebel who is more controlling and abusive and one who operates in the spirit of Ahab who is more empathic, passive and is controlled. Jezebel can be in a woman or man and Ahab can be in a man or woman. Thus most people have no clue about these spiritual demonic spirits causing wounded people to behave like they do so their counsel will never work to get both parties healed and delivered so they can actually behave like a loving husband and wife should. If both the husband and wife got their soul wounds healed and were delivered then the arguing and fighting would stop and they would not need to divorce. Most pastors and counselors have no clue about the demonic world which affects all people and therefore have limited wisdom in their counsel. You cannot counsel out demons nor change a person’s behavior without getting their soul wounds healed and being delivered from demons.
The wisest counsel is from people who have been healed of their own soul wounds, have forgiven all those who have hurt them, repented for their pride and sin and can now hear the Lord clearly. Then what they say is truly from the Lord who is telling them and they are not speaking only from their own limited personal experiences and soul wounds. The Lord definitely uses our own experiences when we have been healed and delivered to minister to others who are in similar situations. But there are many who give tainted counsel that is unwise to people who are hurting because they aren’t hearing from the Lord and they are taking their own personal situations and applying it to everyone which can lead to counsel that can be harmful. Many who have religious spirits who are not delivered yet will not have the wisdom to give wise counsel. They will give religious counsel like the Pharisees and scribes that would be contrary to what Jesus would actually say.
Jesus called out the Pharisees and scribes who would give preferred seating to the wealthy and influential of the day. That still goes on today as those who have money and tithe larger amounts to the church are treated with higher esteem and given preferential treatment while those who have nothing to give are often not listened to, not helped and even discriminated against. Jesus knows our hearts and if there is selfishness, sexual impurity, pride and other ungodly traits He would call it out and preach about it while today’s church leaders wouldn’t dare call out their larger givers for the sin they were in for fear they would leave and take their money with it.
So be wise who you listen to for counsel. If they have not been healed, delivered and are speaking with wisdom from the Lord then you may be following advice which could lead to more hurt, brokenness and a lifetime of pain.